Video Game High School (VGHS) – S3: Ep. 4

Video Game High School (VGHS) – S3: Ep. 4


[Cheerful orchestra music] ♪ ♪ [Engine turning over] [Rock music] ♪ Don’t wanna hear ♪ ♪ about how the real world’s ♪ ♪ the place for me ♪ ♪ There’s nothing out there ♪ ♪ won’t look better ♪ ♪ on a TV screen ♪ ♪ There a better way ♪ ♪ I don’t care what you say ♪ ♪ I just want to play ♪ ♪ We all just want to play ♪ ♪ Things will be all right ♪ ♪ soon as I get back to school ♪ ♪ ♪ Okay, Swanlings, these birds are ready to fly. [Laughter] Hands in, everyone. I move to declare this Swan family dinner in session. All: seconded. [Laughter] So any new business? Oh, yes. Why did you leave vghs? Did you have a fight with your friends? I move we move on from this line of inquiry. All in favor, say, “aye.” Both: nay. Call for a revote? Both: nay. [Laughter] Well, if you must know, you were right all along. VGHS is dumb. I would much rather go to vghs– Video Game Home School. [Laughter] Honey, could we please turn off your laughing robot? We’re having a serious conversation. [Laughter] No. This is why I built Audie in the first place, to lubricate awkward social situations. I could use some more social lubricant myself. [Laughter] See? Honey, we’re really worried about you. Clearly you’re running away from something. There’s nothing to worry about. I’ve just dropped out of school to live with my parents for the rest of my life. [Laughter] [Doorbell rings] Oh, that must be Jenny with the rest of my things. Uh… [Pounds table] Meeting adjourned. [Laughter] One second. Hi, Kiwi! [Studio audience whoops] Ted, Brian… Welcome to my home. [Laughter] Um, Ki, can you open up? I brought you flowers. and I know you’re really mad at me right now. I’m sorry. Also, also, it was a nine-hour cab ride, and I really have to pee. [Laughter] [Sighs] Wow. Nice place. Firstly, thank you for the flowers. Secondly… I am very mad at you. Oh, crap. Brian, run! You lied to me. You stood me up for prom to go to an erotic arcade. and you killed Josh’s virtual pet. Well, technically, I let it starve. [Scoffs loudly] Good save, man. and you, Brian… for shame. For what? For– I don’t know. I’m just really thrown by you being here with Ted. I thought you two were fighting. well, we are. But I called a truce because we wanted to make sure that you’re okay. Aw, thanks. Yeah, turns out, with the Whole Jenny thing and the whole Ted thing, you’re kind of the only friend that I don’t have a thing with right now. I miss you too. What? I miss you way more than he does. Oh, grow up, Ted. grow a bigger butt, Brian. Wow! God, why don’t you two just go and make out already? Maybe we will. Yeah, maybe we will. Wait. We will? Oh, no. I mean, no, I never really– Yeah, I never– Me neither. I just–I mean, you are… you too. What is happening? [Laughter] Okay, Ki, where do you want this? [Studio audience cheers] Hi, Jenny. Thanks for bringing my stuff. You can just put that… Anywhere. Hi, Brian. Jenny. How’s it going? Great. How are you? Also great. “Also great”? What a coincidence. I know–small world. Yeesh, these two… Frosty. [Laughter] Okay, what’s with the Laughing robot? [Laughter] Oh, you guys hear that too? Of course we hear it. It’s really distracting. Her name is Audie, and she’s not distracting. She’s charming. [Audience aws] Okay, that is weird, Ki. Actually, yeah, are you okay? Is this, like, a cry for help? You’re a cry for help! Oh. [Chuckles nervously] Mm. Yeah, so, uh, I was fine before you all showed up. And thank you for coming, everybody. And if you could all please leave, that would be excellent. Nobody’s going anywhere. No, if you kids are having problems, you should face them head-on. Ooh, Karen, are you thinking what I’m thinking? Both: Couples Council. No, not Couples Council. I hate that game. All in favor, say, “Aye.” Both: aye. Aye. ow. [Laughter] Couples Council is a little game Karen and I whipped up back when we first moved in together. Yes, and if it can get us through the great dishwashing argument, it can help you kids too. Ki, why don’t you tell your Friends the rules? First, you pick a partner. I call Ted. Oh, fine. I call Ki. I want to be with Ki. Well, I don’t want to be with you. Don’t worry, Ted. We are gonna crush these chumps. Yeah, then Ki will have to forgive me. Hey, Ki, who’s dumber– Ted or Jenny for picking Ted? Easy answer–Jenny. [Gasps] Yeah. Better go put some Ebelskivers on, honey. It’s gonna be a long game. [Laughter] Ted, sit over there. Jenny, can you recall for the court the events of April 23rd? Uh… The day you broke up with me. You broke up with me. Yeah, ’cause you were gonna break up with me. Objection! Your honor, counsel is testifying. We’re on the same team. Yes, and you are blowing our case. [Gavel bangs] Order in the court. Unless you all want contempt tokens, I suggest you move on. We call to the stand Theodore Wong. I’m supposed to stand? Just sit in the chair, Ted. I’m supposed to sit. [Sighs] Ted… Take responsibility for what you’ve done, or we’re never getting back together. Argumentative. Sustained. Come on, Ki, just take me back already. Why? Because… We are… You know… Soul mates! How can we know that, though? I mean, really, you’re the first boy I’ve ever dated Ted, and I’m the first girl you’ve ever dated. Ah, that’s not true, though. I went out with Jenny freshman year. What? You went out with Jenny? Oh, crap. She meant nothing to me. It was the first week of school. I literally forgot about it. Yeah, me too. We only kissed three times. You guys kissed? What? Your honor, I would like to call a recess so we can discuss this new evidence. Yes, I think a recess is in order. [Cell phone ringing] That is my mom. Thank god. Ted, you’re on your own. [Laughter] Uh… [Laughter] So, uh… Who wants ice cream? I do! [Laughs] Hey, mom, what’s up? Brian, this may sound gross, but I think we should kiss three times to make it even. [Laughter] I don’t think that’s gonna win us any points with the jury, Ki. I think you should listen to your co-counsel, honey. [Laughter] [Door opens] Where’s Ted? Why, so you can kiss him a fourth time, you hussy? No, no, where’s Ted? Jenny, what’s up? Freddie died. How? My god, what happened? I don’t know. There was an accident. He was on a motorcycle. My mom just told me. Somebody has to tell Ted. Hey, guys, where’s the bathroom? ’cause I got to poop. Ted, you should probably– It’s right through there, son. [Mouth full] okay, great. I’m bringing this bad boy with me. So good. What should we do? I’ll tell him. How? How do you tell him something like that? y-you kids sit down. I will tell Ted. Everything is gonna be okay. We’ll figure– Mm, false alarm–no poop. Mrs. Swan, is it okay if I get an extra scoop of ice cream? Of course, Ted. Have as much as you want. Sweet. [Laughter] [Robot powers down] Well, folks, say bye-scream to the ice cream, ’cause I just spilled it all over the ground. Do you have any paper towels? Its okay, Ted. Sit down. Oh, okay. Oh, right. Um, where were we? Ted… I need you to listen. There’s been an accident. Oh, I know–I just told you. It just slipped out of my hands. I’m really sorry, again. Uh… What’s going on? Your father was in an accident. And I’m sorry, but he died. What? Um… Uh, no, let’s play. Of course, you can stay here, But we should call your mother. Shut up. Just let me– No one expects you to understand how to feel right now. Um, uh, okay. Um… Whose turn is it? Oh, honey, I know this is hard, but we should probably call your mom. Whatever. It’s–it’s okay. Okay, so it’ll be my turn. I-I’m approaching the bench. Somebody call a witness. It’s gonna be okay, man. [breathing shakily] [breathing heavily] I got to go. [retching] [sobbing] [retching] [atmospheric music] ♪ ♪ Oh, sorry. Um, hey, I got to go, dad. Yeah, love you too. All right, bye. Sorry, it’s just– it’s kind of hard to get a little privacy around here. Yeah. Uh, how’s your dad? Uh, you know, alive. Sorry. That was… It’s all yours. You guys aren’t ready yet? Ted will be back from the coroner’s any moment. Sorry. I’ll hurry. It’s fine. Uh, here, I made pamphlets. “Helping Ted Grieve”? It’s our complete guide to helping Ted through this difficult time. Now, I only have a few minutes, so I’ll talk you through the highlights. Depending on who you ask, there are 5 to 12 stages of grief. [Vehicle approaching] He’s here. [Sighs] Hey, guys, we’re back. Ted… Hello. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? How’d it go? Pretty good. Morgues are weird. Yeah. It’s been a long night, gang. Why don’t we let Ted get some sleep? Actually, no, I’m okay. Mrs. Swan, what’s for breakfast? Honey, you can have whatever you want. Score. Uh, chocolate pancakes, please. Of course. Ted, we want you to know– sorry, it’s important that we let you know it’s okay for you to cry in front of us. [Scoffs] Why would I do that? That’s lame. Because, Ted… Your dad just died. Yeah, doing what he loved– Riding a motorcycle without a helmet. That’s good, Ted. Often an important part of the process is describing the death, even in detail. You know what? I think I’m gonna go to bed. Okay. Well, my bedroom’s just down the hall, so… Cool. Thanks. Leave me alone. Oh. That was weird. You’re here for Frederick Wong? Right this way. [Gurney sliding] Is this him? Yeah. Brian, do you know how we can get in touch with Ted’s mother? I think she’s on tour right now. Sweetie, why don’t we worry about that when Ted wakes up? Ki’s making all the arrangements right now. I’ll keep you updated. Thanks, Calhoun. Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Oh. A refrigeration fee. Oh, I see. No, yes, I’m not really sure. I’ll have to get back to you on that. But after the decline of rhythm gaming and his bitter divorce from Hong Kong pop sensation li Hong Chen, Wong stepped away from the spotlight and into the classroom. As Professor Wong at Video Game High School, he spent his remaining days inspiring the gamers of the future. Yeah, uh, Mr. Wong was always cool about letting us skip class, so, uh… yeah. Thank you, Sebastian. Ted. Oh, hey, everybody. Uh, good morning. Or should I say good “mourning”? “Mourning,” you know, with a “u,” like a dead guy. Yeesh. Where’s Audie when you need her? [Laughs] That’s very healthy and amusing, Ted. Cool. Um, about this funeral, my mom probably can’t make it, but I got her credit card, so let’s send my old man off in style. Yeah, sure. Whatever you want. That’s nice. Cool. Okay, so I’m thinking fireworks, jugglers, and, you know… What else do they have at cool funerals? Let’s start by picking a casket. A casket–duh. What would I do without you, Ki? All right, let’s do this thing. How does 11:00 sound for the burial? Yeah, cool. Okay. Did you find a flower arrangement you like? Um, no, not yet. Oh, yeah, here, check out this awesome video, Ki. This is one of Freddie’s first videos. That’s his dirt bike. Those are his chains. Oh, man. Isn’t my dad awesome, Ki? Yes. Yes, he was. Yeah. Can I get some more cheese? Sure. This is going very well. I didn’t think he’d be at acceptance so soon. Well, I’m not sure that that’s what this is, honey. What do you mean? [Doorbell rings] I got it. Supersonic! [Imitates whooshing] [Laughs] Cut savies. Wow! Ted Wong? You got him. Ooh. Here you go. Ah, thank you. Cool. What is it, man? [Gasps] Cool. Hey, you kids watching a movie? Yeah, it’s got my dad in it. Check it out. Is it going yet? [Electric guitar playing] Are you rolling yet? All right, okay. What’s up, jerks? This is Freddie Wong, and if You’re watching this, it means I got got, yo. [Heavy rock guitar music] ♪ ♪ All right, let’s get down to business and see what sweet loot I’m dropping in this… [echoing] ♪ video will! ♪ [exhales deeply] First up, I bequeath my raddest guitars and all of my money… To Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue. Here, zoom in on this. Zoom in on this. Nikki, you and I never met, but if we did, I think we would have been bros, man. [Heavy rock guitar music] ♪ ♪ As for my ex-wife, li, I would leave you my dirt bike, but you already took that and everything else I own, so up yours! [heavy rock guitar music] Jeez. As for my stupid son, Ted, He gets this crappy lav mic that he couldn’t set up right. Are you gonna fix this or what? God, you are such your mother’s son. Of course she would leave me with you. How hard is this to set up? Just clip it on and don’t have it fall off. Just keep it out of my– Just go to the– Don’t go to the chains. Just clear the chains. Get it onto the–yes. Go, clip it on, jeez. [Coughs] How much longer is this gonna take? Do you think you deserve any of this? Do you think you deserve any of my stuff? No, not at all. No, because you can’t even get a lav mic. Get out of here. God, I hate you. Go, get out of the way. Get out of the shot. All right. All right, where were we? I have no idea where we are now. Ted, are you all right? You can train a monkey to do this, you moron. Uh, I got to go pee. What are you wearing? Jeez, get this bow tie off. Get it–just– I need a second. Give me a second. What were we doing? [Dish shatters] It’s good that he died. Both: Kimberly. I’m sorry. That was rude. Sweetie. I’ll get the broom. It’s okay, honey. She’s just processing it. [Gunfire on TV] Thanks. Ashley Barnstormer has done It. Napalm has won the high school FPS championship Well, that sucks. Ted’s gonna be all right. Nothing is all right. Dinner’s almost ready, so– Oh, you’re kissing. Sorry. You’re kissing. Um… [Beeping, light music] I need you in the closet. So, uh, what’s up? Whoa, whoa, slow down. What’s going on? I’m coming back to VGHS, and I’ve decided I’m still your girlfriend. Stop. What are you doing? I thought you were mad at me. I was, but that was before. Before what? I’m sorry. So what’s everyone doing this summer? Got any big plans? Uh… ’cause I was thinking we could all go hang out at my place. Yeah, sounds cool, dude. Yeah, we got a pool and a b-ball court and– oh, Freddie borrowed the wide-screen, so we just have to go over to his place to pick it up. His place? Like, his room? No, no, like, his place. It’s only 20 minutes away By bus, though. You live by yourself? Yeah, since my 10th birthday. It was the best birthday present ever. Oh, honey, who takes care of you? Oh, um, there’s a maid that comes by once a month and jerry the doorman. He’s really wise. Ted, that’s horrible. What? No way, that’s awesome. Okay? It’s gonna be great, guys. Come on. Yeah, you’re right. Yeah. No, that sounds cool. No, it doesn’t. Why are we humoring him? Honey. Freddie was a terrible father, Ted. No, he wasn’t. Yes, he was. You didn’t even know him, Ki! He was rad. He bought me a loft. He gave me his old phone every time he wanted a new one. and now he’s– and now you’ll never get to hang out with him, so I feel bad for you! Ted, one second. There’s gonna be a lot of things to figure out in the next few months, but I want to let you know, you can live with us as long as you need to, okay? Might have to help out with chores a bit. Mrs. Swan keeps a clean house. But we’d love to have you. I’m sorry I ruined dinner. You didn’t ruin anything. Go get some rest, and we’ll see you in the morning. Honey, are you okay? [Sobs] Sweetie, come over here. Aw, sweetie. What’s wrong? Hmm? I cheated. What? I cheated to win the election. That’s–that’s why I left. I tried really hard to do everything right, but it just made everything worse, so that’s Why I’m home. Why didn’t you tell us? Because I thought maybe you would hate me. and the thought of that… [Sniffles] I love you both so much. I don’t want you to hate me. Hey, you listen to me. We are so proud of you. There is nothing in this world that can make us stop loving you… ever. Okay? [Sobbing] Brain, wake up. What? What is it? What’s going on? Ted is gone. We’re never gonna find him. We should wake up my parents. We should call the police. Ki, he’s fine, okay? He’s probably just wandering around. Where would he go? is anything even open right now? Stop the car! [Rock music] ♪ ♪ Hey, Ted. Hey. Almost done. [Explosion] Whoo! Looks like you are an axe legend. You know what? You and I make quite the team. Catch you later, newbie. [Heavy rock guitar music] ♪ ♪ I’ve beaten this game I don’t know how many times just to hear him say that. I’m not okay, Brian. I know, man. Did you know he didn’t even know how to ride a bike? He went out without a helmet. How stupid can you be? Now he’s dead, and… [Scoffs] Did he even care? God… He was such an asshole. I’ve been terrible to you guys. I’m so sorry… ’cause… You’re the only ones that even– [Sniffles, laughs] He probably even wouldn’t care that I’m sad right now, but I’m sad anyway. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. It hurts so much. [Crying] why is that, huh? Why does it hurt so much? ’cause he was your dad, man, and you loved him. That’s stupid. No. Dude, it was stupid that he didn’t love you. It’s okay to cry. [Sobbing]

Leave a Response

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

100 thoughts on “Video Game High School (VGHS) – S3: Ep. 4”