I will retouch your photos ($5000) – Delusional Artists #39 [REDDIT REVIEW]

I will retouch your photos ($5000) – Delusional Artists #39 [REDDIT REVIEW]


*Door creak* Papapapa I have amazing quality camera!(lol sure pewds) *Crowd Claps for 720p* Now I have been reading the comments, and I have been seeing some of you guys saying things like: “Ugh, Felix is a terrible artist *scoffs* he can’t even draw!” *weird pewdiepie expression* ‘scuse me! I’ll have you know I am an amazing artist. And I am not delusional (absolutely), so therefore *cute laugh* we’re going to be looking at other delusional artists, not me. *sure felix, sure* Real artists. I tried to draw sAnIc. *laughs* I tried to draw sonic from my memory. It wasn’t the best, okay? But at least I tried *Laughs like a PewDiePie* (Says while laughing, “Oh my god”) God forgive me (laughing simultaneously). This dude thought his paintings were good enough to get him into Art School in Vienna, L-O-L. Well goddamn… Alex Jones – tries his hand at art I came up with this symbol — I’ve seen this — with symbol to illustrate humankind transcending the synthetic VR being pulled over our collective souls. Incredible job!!!!!!! Wow Alex Jones, what an artist! I looked at flat earther’s profile out of curiosity and…. Jesus Christ! The head of John the Baptist created by my group. We can sell it at the fair for at least a hundred. AT LEAST A HUNDRED What in God’s earth is that. Hand drawn Harley Quinn portrait. 500 dollars? ONLY 500?!!! My gosh that is ssusteel 500 for guareanteed nightmares. Would you like it? It’s only 500. That’s a great price. *unaudible sale pitch for gaming chair* Used pastels to capture the battle of evil and innocence. *why just why would you make this?* I think you only captured evil *no, it’s beautiful* I said this before, and I’ll say this again: Stop being creative, okay? Some people just need to realise you have NO TALENT, okay? Me however, many talent, especially drawing*sure* like you can see *much beauty such wow* I’m good at drawing– what is this? The gentleman applying for my 500 freelance book cover art gig uses this image as an example of his skill MYYYY GO-O-O-O-D *while laughing* before *clap* and after *laugh* *wheeze* It looks so real! She really does look like a clown now, that’s amazing! What are you doing? You just added blur, and then just painted on top? You know what, I bet I can achieve this Here le- let me try it Gaussian Blur *wtf is that?* *laugh* And then I just get, get the eyes back. Look at that A-(laugh)nd then just paint the cheeks there you go What else– she can do the mouth as well THERE YOU GO! 500 DOLLARS! Please, thank you, I am an artist and I deserve to be paid OH MY GOD IT’S SO SIMILAR *laugh* wait, wait, if i get paid 500 to do that i wouldn’t even have to do YouTube Jesus Christ *plez no* Ryan Reynolds in Dead Pool. 50 bucks! you are looking at 9×12 colored pencil on heavy drawing paper. okay 50 bucks! that’s a great price! Steampunk Indian Squaw Loin Cloth-Skirt. YES, JUST WHAT I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FINNALLY they took a bunch of chips and just glued probably glue-gunned it to some, i don’t even know. Steampunk, 185 bucks? WOW! I’ll take 50! “this is Indian Squaw loin cloth adorned with computer parts. There are sharp edges so you would wear at your own risk.” I was just thinking about that! It probably cuts through. Jesus Christ wear it at your own risk. You know what? I do like a challenge. I don’t know why this sh*t makes me laugh. Why are so many people delusional. 2.000? WOW THAT’S A GREAT DEAL! I was gonna *cry* Confetti in a bag? two thousand you know someone considere- you know it’s just like uh fashion, just put a high price on anything and be like: ‘oh look it’s funny’ i bet you must be poor, i bet you don’t have a 2.000 bag of confetti. Readymade wall art (hey that sounds like walmart owo) it’s. a. matressspring. nononono, it’s art. you put it on the wall, it’s art. okay. you see this chair, you put it on the wall. IT’S ART godamnit *hmm what is the price of that chair?* anything you can put on the wall is art. oh my god *laugh* “you want a portrait like this? Send me a PM with image and i will draw a sketch for TWENTY BUCKS? With shading, like this full color 70.” He doesn’t have an example of what the full color looks like. if you want more then face, send me message and we can talk about the price. i need to find this. i need to buy this. *while laughing* “I’m the hottest rapper in the game right now. And that’s a fact” isn’t he in jail? yeah who’d tho-*laugh*ught *laugh* i’m sorry. SOULJA BOY NOOOO *laugh* “you know you’re an artist when you sip tea from a Beethoven mug while using a Mac” that’s of course, the only definition of an artist Any other artist that existed in previously a Mac you know your potential is fricking butthole. oh yes, the classic *laugh* mlbdb godamnit. How much did they pay? 250 dollars. Why did they pay them? Thank God, thank God for giving things like this. *laugh* What it looks great! *laugh* AAAH Squidward, the first delusional artist. Hey i mean that looks good, cmon. IT’S ART YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND IT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ART *reads* godamn it’s so cringe augh eww ah yes, wahmen in orange bath smoking a cigarette. I get it this is so deep. *laugh* “I spent 20.000 dollar-pounds of benefits to look like David Beckham. Wow *clap* I can barely tell the difference! What did he spend 20.000 on a haircut? I don’t wanna know what he looked like before this. 20.000 dollars or pounds worth of Jesus Christ. oh MY GOD THE RETOUCHING. YES! This was a sponsor. Wow, now you look like Fiona from Shrek. That’s awesome! Only a quarter of dollars! *laugh* What the hell is that price?! I-i’m curious if i can replicate it. Just like, just get an idea of what they did. Okay, first of all, they increase the saturation. By like *laugh* so increase saturation and they blur the background. Looks like they increased the white points as well. And then they did such a poor job of cropping out her hair. That it looks like 1 entity of things. And then for some reason they made the eyes and nose, MASSIVE. *laugh* no they lifted the nose a little. I CAN’T EVEN MAKE HER THAT UGLY. OH MY GOOD *laugh* I’m charged only a fifth of a dollar. Please guys, my ad revenue is real low, just, just pay me. Please. I’ll retouch your photo’s. This is a great result. Yeezy two thousand six hundred. yeez. Now i get why they are called that. yeez. God it’s so ugly. It just looks bad. but this is the perfect example i was talking about. With fashion it’s like just put a high price tag on it and people will buy it. That’s all you need to do. I bet you can’t afford thundercomeless (?) *laugh* I get it. some items are like well designed, and i know a lot of people have a problem with holes in items being like: “oh you can just make” And i, to me this is just ugly. It’s just ugly. OCEAN TURTLE SIMULATOR ONE HUHEHE I’m downloading this right now. “my school actually paid for this.” Wow it looks so good! That min*laugh*ion “Beatiful handmade Mongolian batte mask, estimated to be from the 11th century, price from hmmm 700 – 2000 hmm that looks like someone’s kid would bring home from kindergarten. And you would immediately throw it in the thrash, and punch the child, for wasting human space. “Lil tat i did, contact me for prices rates go from 150 to a thousand!” THOUSAND THAT’S A GREAT PRICE! *laugh* *laugh* Who made this? I want it ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED WHAT A DE-*laugh*AL!! Wow, what a beautiful painting. I sure wonder what the price is. It must be just a couple thousand. A THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED? WHAT? I’M BUYING IT RIGHT NOW! Okay everyone, place your bet how much you think this is price. Let me know in the comments down below. That’s right, you all guessed it right. TWENTY THOUSAND *laugh* That’s susteel! I wasn’t gonna buy this before, when it’s was 550, but now it’s 475! My god! Reptile baby. “Reptile baby re-created by myself Serious inquiries only” *laugh* You know what? I’m gonna buy myself a reptile baby. I have 40 bucks to spare. And i’m you know, i don’t care what haters are saying. i’m streaming myself with a REPTILE BABY! Thank you guys for watching these delusional artists with me. And as of course: me not delusional artist, me phenomenal artist which you can tell by my art. Which i’m i’ma- now i’m gonna sell, for the great price of 2.000 it’s up on ebay. So you can buy it. For the low price of very little. Smash like, subscribe, and remember: check out merch. Oh it’s a little cold in here. Oh what’s that? Oh. Epic Merch! Last day today boys (and gurls?>:). Last day, it’s now or never. Check out the merch. *burp* Bye What?! You never played Tuber Simulator? pffsth. You know it’s fun, right? I’m not supposed to give my opinion, but give it a try. And then you can tell me if it’s good or not. Not convinced yet? Okay. I’ll cut you a deal. The game is available, for free. And that’s a great price! *Tuber Simulator music*

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